DP - A town on Colorado’s Eastern Plains is warning its residents not to drink, bathe or cook with its water because officials said evidence was found of THC, the active psychoactive compound in marijuana. Que the Colorado pot jokes everyone............ OK, are we good now? Did you get it out of your system? Alright good, now here are my jokes. I have to imagine that the town of Hugo said this with a big ol wink, right? Like: hey, there's free pot flowing through the water, literally a river of edibles, but don't use it guys, ok? Great we made the public statement that makes us look like responsible adults, now lets get go get fucking ripped, grab some Taco Bell and fire up Officer Craig's Playstation. When I heard the story I immediately thought to drive to Hugo, drink some of the water and see if I get high. But then I looked up where Hugo is... A 4 hour 200+ miles round trip drive through the most boring and ugly part of Colorado to go visit this place? Funny and now relevant picture: No fucking thanks. I have a dispensary literally across the street from my apartment if I wanna get high. Also, Hugo doesn't have a Taco Bell so fuck that idea x1000.
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DP - Heroic action by a resident of the Four Mile area outside of Glenwood Springs probably saved a black bear from a death sentence. A 2-year-old black bear was spotted for at least the past week in Four Mile with a clear plastic Cheese Balls container stuck over its entire head........... Carbondale District Wildlife Officer John Groves hightailed it to the bed and breakfast after getting the call and tranquilized the bear. They used tin shears to cut the heavy plastic off the bruin’s head. Groves applied a reversal drug and the bear snapped out of its slumber in a few minutes. He took a drink then ambled off, Groves said. He estimated its chances for survival were high.
That video is hilarious. Watching that bear just stumbling around with a giant jug stuck on his head had me cracking up. Just a big dumb animal being a big dumb animal. "Like, are we supposed to catch him?" Yea, go for it sister. I had originally decided to blog this because I thought the guy had just walked right up to the bear and plucked the container off the bears head, which would have been an act that required some serious balls. So to read that he tranquilized the bear first, took a whole lot of pizzazz out of this story. But then I was reminded of Cartmen and his cheesy poofs and it made me chuckle a little bit and with that the blog was back on! editor's note: can you imagine how frustrated that bear must have been? Walking around with a cheese balls container stuck on your head for a week?? I'm surprised it didn't just blindly walk right off a cliff.
Should have blogged these stories yesterday but I was pretty hungover and it took all of my low energy to focus on my real job. Couldn't multi task like I usually can. Sad!
Anyways, the Avs dropped two relatively big stories on Wednesday. First, the Avs smartly avoided arbitration with Mikhail Grigorenko (looking at you Tyson) and signed him to a 1 year deal. Second, the Avs have partnered with the Colorado Eagles of the ECHL. And with that, let's dive in. 1. 1 year, $1.3 million. Initial reports indicated that the Avs were offering $900K while Grigz wanted $1.6 million. So $1.3 million is an obviously fair deal for both sides. Only problem I have with it is the length of the deal. I would have much rather had Grigz for two years rather than just the one. Grigz was a top 10 pick who was horribly developed by the Buffalo Sabres. In my book, his potential is still wide open and you could see him grow and become a better player as the season went on last year. He showed flashes of top 6 talent at times when playing with MacKinnon and his puck handling ability is probably the best aspect of his game. I really wish the Avs would have been able to get him on a two year deal. There's no way his agent would let him sign anything longer than that. I'm optimistic about Grigz, and if he has a good year this coming season there's a chance the Avs lose him in free agency. In this scenario, the second year would have given the Avs a lot more flexibility in negotiating an extension. But maybe Grigz drops off the face of the earth, in which case the Avs will come out looking smart. The most important thing about Grigz contract is that we now know how much we have to work with to sign Tyson Barrie, which is right around $6.5 million. I will be saying a nightly prayer between now and Barrie's arbitration date that the two sides get a deal done. With $6.5 million to work with, there is no way the two sides shouldn't be able to work something out before the arbitration hearing. If not, we may very easily have another Rhino Reilly situation on our hands. 2. Great move by the Avs, even better move by the Eagles. Having a connection to the local NHL team will undoubtedly provide a little extra umph for the Eagles when trying to market their team to new fans. Not that the Eagles have a bad product or anything, watching a game at the barn is the tits. If you're a hockey fan in Colorado and you haven't caught an Eagles game then you have to go to one this year, it's too good of an experience not do it at least once. That's all the Avs news until probably Barries arbitration date. Until then, #ThoughtsAndPrayersForANewBarrieContract Denver Post - The father of three children who spent three unplanned days in the wilderness northeast of Durango over the weekend told authorities he led his family in the wrong direction after receiving faulty information from a Texas hiker, according to officials..... “Beaver said faulty directions from a hiker from Texas caused him to go in the wrong direction,” the La Plata County Sheriff’s Office said in a news release. “After two days of wandering, he spotted (a) family from Australia and asked them for help.” Get it together Texas. If your gonna ski our slopes and hike our trails, keep your jeans and your shitty advice to yourself. That being said, maybe I should blame the Coloradan for trusting a Texan? Nah, I'm loyal. Colorado for life! Get the fuck outta here Texas, stick to your cattle and lack luster pro football. Mother Nature is our territory. *editors note1: Of course it was the Australian family who saved them. No one knows how to survive the wild quite like an Aussie. *editors note2: What the hell kind of name is Beaver? Of course this guy trusted a Texan. You can't have confidence in the judgement of a guy named Beaver. h/t BSNDenver This is the season of #Mission82W, everybody knows that. The pitching finally has some optimism to it and the Rockies offense will always be the Rockies offense. With those ingredients, .500 baseball should be a lock. The Rockies currently sit at 43 - 49 and only one winning streak from reaching .500. Also, the Rockies X_WL (some calculation algorithm thingy that takes into account runs for and against and then uses that info to provide a theoretical record of what the team should actually be at) has them at 46-46, meaning we should expect more Ws than Ls going forward. They also have a somewhat-kinda-not-really easier schedule post All Star break. Their remaining opponents combined record is 706-682 which is good for a .508 winning percentage. Meaning the Rockies have to play above .500 ball against basically .500 opponents. Can they do it? Hell yea, Mission82W baby! Am I crazy to think the Rockies can make a push for the final Wild Card spot? No, not yet anyways, but an 82 win season is just as successful in my book. With all the recent violence by and against police officers, I was glad to see this humanizing video posted by the Denver Police Department. We're all #TeamHuman, folks. If we don't have corny videos that poke a little fun at our own expense, then what do we have? Well I'm not sure, but I'd be willing to bet that it would look an awful lot like the former Soviet Union. h/t Westword
*Editors note: Horrible pun, I know. I'm working on my pun game.
Nothing bad has ever happened to an NFL player for being shot in the leg out side of a night club. So I'm sure the Broncos upper management and ownership didn't think anything of Aqib Talibs Dallas night club incident. That being said, I'm sure they are happy to see him doing well. Denver saw Talib's recovery first hand at TJ Wards charity golf tournament today. And look at that! Not even a limp!
Curses are all the rage these days. From Cleveland to the Cubs, and now even Henrik Stenson. I need to be cursed more than I need to steal my Dad's beer. I have to be cursed, have to. Why you may ask? Surely being cursed can't be fun, just ask Kevin Durant or Chicago Cubs fans. Durant willingly pissed off 98% of the NBA just to get rid of his curse.
The answer is simple. Breaking a curse makes you an instant legend. Think any member of the 2004 Red Sox has paid for a drink in Boston since they broke the curse of the Babe? Hell no. Could LeBron or Kyrie run for mayor of Cleveland and win? Absolutely. If I get cursed and then beat that curse, they'd put a statue of me in LoDo I guarantee it. My watch has started, from here on out I will be on the lookout for curses. And I won't stop tell I'm a legend. Daily Camera - Some black student athletes on the University of Colorado's Boulder campus call the Dal Ward Athletic Center "The Plantation" because their performance on the football field and on the basketball court helps pay for white athletes to play other sports, like golf and tennis.
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