GoFundMe - As Alumni of the "CHIP" mascot program - we are heartfelt for what looked like a shot to the groin area when it went viral on the internet. But then we thought, there is no way anyone would ever do that. That canister has almost 200PSI in it and that's asking for way more than a little comic relief. Sure, its CHIP's job to entertain, but not at the expense of that kind of pain.
Watch closely you'll see it looks like the back of the t-shirt gun actually exploded off the pack of the "chute" the shirts launch out of. and this gun actually broke on him. That gun is way past its time and reminded us that while CHIP shows up to game day and creates so many fan-favorite moments, the program always struggled to even raise enough money to buy a new mascot suit, or make repairs to our equipment as necessary. It's hard to believe CHIP, a two-time national champion, who does over 300 appearances a year, the majority of them for athletics, has no scholarship program or substantial funding to get him what he needs. Tack on the fact that the storage closet was all too often the best option there ever was for a locker room. Help this Icon of the University recover from a painful moment that could have otherwise been avoided & get him everything he needs plus some. For starters, a jock strap and a new t-shirt gun!
When I first saw that tweet I thought it was a gift from the blogging heavens. As if the video wasn't funny enough. Chip now needs to have emergency surgery to save his balls? That's a bloggers dream. Is it fucked up that that's what my initial reaction was? Yeah, most definitely. But funny is funny and that would have been the story of the year. Nothing would have been able to top that in terms of comedic originality. In case you need a refresher or you just want to watch one of the funniest videos on the internet, here it is:
That all being said, I'm glad the record is being set straight. Chip DID NOT shoot himself in the balls. The gun failed Chip and it exploded mid shot. What a relief. I have to be honest, as funny as that video was, it made me incredibly nervous. At the time of the incident, the Buffs were well on their way to a 3-0 start. They had beaten their two biggest rivals Colorado State and Nebraska. It was looking like 2016 all over again. The Pac12 South is in a down year and is ripe for Colorado to win it again. But a moment like this? This could derail an entire athletic department let alone the football season. You just can't recover from your own mascot taking out his own twig and berries. It could have sent CU football into a tailspin the likes of which we may never have recovered from. Hell, the state legislature could rightfully block any future funding going to the university all together. Enrollment numbers would plummet, professors would leave and the school would eventually shut down and cease to exist. That is what we were facing here. So I'm glad that the record has been set straight. Chip was a victim of a faulty t-shirt gun. Phew! Thank the sweet buffalo gods in the sky. Now, everyone do your part (I've already donated $20) and get Chip a new t-shirt gun!
0 Comments
Aspen Times - Dog owners be warned: Hungry bears are starting to come down from the hills in search of winter hibernation calories and they might be in your backyard.A year-old bear killed a Welsh terrier Tuesday morning in the backyard of a home on Eastwood Road near Mountain Valley up Highway 82 toward Independence Pass, said Ginna Gordon, a community resource officer with the Aspen Police Department. The homeowners let the 14-year-old terrier, named Clover, out about 7 a.m. to go to the bathroom without knowing the bear was under their backyard deck, Gordon said. Clover barked at the bear and cornered it under the deck, and the bear killed the dog, she said. "The bear felt trapped and that's why it acted the way it did," Gordon said. "It was not trying to seek out the dog. It was an act of defense." RIP Clover. Are bears the most fake tough-guy of the animal kingdom? You're telling the bear acted in self defense from a Welsh Terrier? Are you serious? Do you want to see what a Welsh Terrier looks like? This is a Welsh Terrier: Look at that good boy. You're going to try and tell me that a freaking bear was scared of poor little 14 year old, Clover? Get out of town. I can hear the grizzlies up in Alaska burrowing their head in embarrassment right now. "How could they let this happen?" they ask. "We fight off wolves on the daily. We're constantly defending ourselves against the bullies in the moose clan. You ever seen a moose? They're freaking huge!". For shame Colorado bears, for shame. And it is because of this story that I am officially going on record and stating that bears are the biggest fake tough-guys in the animal kingdom.
I love it. Now that's what I call public service. That's an example of our tax dollars put to work. You don't know how to do division? Call the local PD, they work for the people, they'll definitely help you out. Shout out to Fort Collins PD on this one but more importantly shout out to this dispatcher who didn't just hang up on him or ask to speak to the parents. The way he handled the situation let's you know that he is just a straight up good dude. And to be honest, this call was probably a breath of fresh air for him. Dispatchers have one of the toughest jobs in this country. Think about all the different kind of calls they have to take. They take calls from people as their house is being broken into, calls from people who have just been shot or stabbed, people who have just been in car accidents, and I'm sure there's a good number of dispatchers have taken a call only to listen to someone get murdered. They take calls from people who are actively in the most scary and stressful moments of their lives. So when you get a call from a little 10 year old asking for help on his division homework, I have to imagine you mark that down as a good day. PS - Way to ask if he was working on decimals and to round up for him when he said no.
Oooof! That was tough to watch. For context, the woman the hug was intended for was Andrea Constand. One of the women Bill Cosby drugged and raped about 40 years ago. I'm not going to comment on the case other than the Judge accurately described Cosby as a violent predator (TBH I would have gone a little more scorched earth on the bastard as he deserves to spend the rest of his days behind bars).
However, this video was laugh out loud funny. Have some situational awareness lady! You honestly thought that hug was for you?!? When Andrea was standing right there! How self involved are you? You were there for one reason and that was because Andrea Constand had the courage to stand up and speak out against a disgusting celebrity and told the world about the horrendous crimes he committed against her. But yet you somehow saw that hug was like "oh nice! I'd love a hug!". Wrong sister. Be a little bit more aware of your surroundings next time, would ya?
I'm a little late on this one, that's on me. I'll be better going forward (don't hold your breath because I probably won't).
IN THE FACE!!!!
Okay, that was mean. I shouldn't make jokes at this guys expense. Poor old man was just enjoying a beautiful Monday night at Coors Field with his wife. At least I hope it was his wife, if not then his spot just got blown up AND he took a dinger right to the face. Instead of mocked, this man should be heralded as the epitome of baseball tough. He should be the poster boy of #baseballguy. He took a David Dahl moonshot to the dome in the fourth and toughed it out for the remainder of the game. If you were in attendance last night and you saw this live and you immediately didn't go up and buy this guy a beer then I don't want you as a Rockies fan. I love this old man, I love him more than my Grandpa (that's not true). So here's to you old man, the OG #BaseballGuy. I was two bad beats away from going 6-2. The Wisconsin under and the Oregon +2 were brutal ways to end the night. So I went a little crazy today and bet all over the place. For better or worse, here you go.
Picks Minnesota/Buffalo Under 41.5 Green Bay Packers -3 Indianapolis Colts +7 Kansas City/San Fransisco Over 54.5 Miami Dolphins -3 Chicago Bears -6 Chicago Arizona Over 39 Seattle Seahawks -1.5 New England Patriots -7 Parlay of the Week: Minnesota/Buffalo Under 41.5 Indianapolis Colts +7 Kansas City/San Fransisco Over 54.5 New England Patriots -7
Picks:
Southern Cal -4.5 Nebraska/Michigan Over 50 Purdue +7 Texas A&M/Alabama Over 61 Wisconsin Money Line Wisconsin/Iowa Under 42 Oregon +2 Oregon/Stanford Under 56 Weekly Parlay: Purdue +7 Oregon State Money Line Wisconsin Money Line Oregon +2
Like all of you, I too am still very upset over being swept by the Dodgers this past week. It was the biggest regular season series in Rockies history and in true Rockies fashion they got their asses handed to them. They went from 1st in the division to being completely out of the playoffs in one series. It hurt. It still hurts.
After a huge series loss like the one this week, no competitive person wants to hear from the overly optimistic aunt. The one that tells you everything is going to be okay and there are bigger things in life. I'm not going to tell you there are bigger things in life because that would be a lie because sports are awesome. Sports are the number one escape most of us have from our normal day to day lives. I'm also not going to tell you that everything is going to be okay either because right now the Rockies are out of the playoffs and that is 100% completely opposite of okay. I will however try in inject some optimism into this blog and into this fanbase. Because god dammit the Rockies are not dead. The Rox are 1.5 back of St. Louis for the final Wild Card spot with 10 games to go and a game in hand over the Cardinals. 10 games! There are still 10 games left with 7 of them being in Denver. The Rockies have Arizona, Philadelphia and Washington left to play and those are all very, very winnable series. All of those teams are done in terms of making the playoffs. Colorado just needs to catch some momentum, a spark, something to bring some life into this lineup and this team can steamroll through the last 3 series. And it's not like the Cardinals are playing all that great either. 5-5 in their last 10 and they have San Fran, Milwaukee and Chicago to finish off the year. That ain't no walk in the park. St. Louis' last two series are against very good division rivals who most definitely don't want to see them in the postseason. The Rockies can do this and it starts tonight. LETS. FUCKING. GO. This will be the official reoccurring blog that follows the Colorado Rockies final 20 games of the 2018 season. We'll be covering all of the highs and all of the lows with hopefully more of the former. There will be video, instant reaction, analysis and hopefully some funny jokes sprinkled into everything. Now I know going in that this blog series may only get like 3 total readers from now until September 30th but I promise to those 3 individuals that this will be the best damn Rockies coverage on the internet. Preview Game 1/20: vs Arizona Diamondbacks. To start off the final 20, the Rockies open up with a 4 game home stand against division rival Arizona. The Rockies need to have a short memory and let this past weekend against the Dodgers go. They're still in first with a .5 game lead on the Dodgers with a game in hand and 2.5 up on Arizona. Over the last 20 games the Dodgers were 12 - 8 and the Diamondbacks were 8 - 12. So let's make it easy and put the target at 13-7 for the Rox. If they go 13-7 or better, we're looking at our first EVER division title. Before game 1/20: Current standings: Talk to you on the other side. Lets. Go. On Thursday, I went 0-4 on the Eagles/Falcons game and because of that I thought it would be wise to throw out all my college football picks on the blog. Here they are:
Colorado +4.5 Colorado outright Northwestern -3 Kansas State +8 Oklahoma -30 Oklahoma/UCLA over 64 Alabama -36.5 Southern California +6 Michigan St/Arizona St over 54 |
TylerSick of the medium sized markets and their west coast bias? Well then this blog isn't for you. Archives
July 2019
Categories |